Our Tantric Meditation

Thoughts appear in being this is why no words can circumscribe this space of consciousness—in other words, as objects appear in consciousness, consciousness can’t be objectified.

One is nothing but being so to speak. Similarly, although being is experienced in this world as love, forgiveness, and compassion, being is beyond experience.

Being is. Being is what? That is unknown but being is that. Feeling it is healing it—can I get an amen for our tantric meditation!

footnotes

pre-socratic philosophy is not philosophy. plato is the fall of wisdom. neo-platonism is actually old school pre-socratic wisdom. sounds real to me.

what's so wrong about love, forgiveness, or compassion, i forget them every day?

there's two ways out of duality, naturally. either think your way out of thought or feel your way to being.

and/or both and

but you can't think your way into being.

what a piece of work is wo/man! how difficult is it to deconstruct?

feeling your way into being is like unconditional love. bhakti is all about going all in.

thinking your way out while feeling your way in is paradoxical, illogical, and true too.

i'm a little bit Shiva, i'm a little bit Krishna, i'm a little bit Alexis the Great.

to la la la or not to la.

stream of consciousness as to consciousness dammed

for the time being, i shall refer to love, forgiveness, and compassion as agape, in the western style, meaning unless I don't

my catechism:

A. being is.

J. being is what?

A. that is unknown but being is that.

J. feeling it is healing it!

being, consciousness, and bliss in. self-awareness out.

Leaving a Note for Myself

Mind is just 10,000 ones and zeros processed at the speed of light. Call this thought. Thought is not knowledge. Only consciousness is knowledge.

The knowledge that consciousness knows is the knowledge of the absolute. In the world, this is the trinity known as love, compassion, and forgiveness as to all my deconstructions.

Consciousness knows the absolute via being the absolute. Again, this knowledge isn’t known by the mind. Remember, the mind doesn’t know anything. Only consciousness knows.

The personal is just a thought. I know I’m not a thought. This knowing is the negative capability of consciousness knowing what it’s not.

I am consciousness. Therefore I am the knowledge of the absolute, I am the absolute. This process is called self-awareness. Call it being. It only appears not to be.

the ten footnotes

Consciousness is talking to consciousness saying trust me.

Not the personal me but the royal me obviously.

Knowing someone in the biblical way is sex with love. Correction. Love with sex.

Excuse me while I kiss my whiskey.

5. The great unknown is only known by being.

6. So be the great unknown.

God is just projection. Projections never die. See through yourself.

Negative Capability, that is, when a man is capable of being in uncertainties, mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact and reason. ~John Keats.

I am the knowledge of the absolute, I am the absolute. In other words, this is the knowledge: I am the absolute.

So be that.

Suddenly Enlightening Intent

The seer doesn’t see but sees through all seeing. And the seer sees with love. They call this affectionate awareness.

For the seer is awareness reflected in consciousness. Without consciousness, there is no seer. Look, the mind is like the eye of self-awareness.

The eye of self-awareness is like the mirror of the mind. Consciousness identifying with the mind is like being temporarily blinded by the sight!

Hey Myth

i. all you need is myth.

Everything is myth. Air is myth. Food is myth. Even sex is myth. Love is not myth.

Myth is not mythology. Mythology is the science of myth. And myth is not a science or any other brand of religion.

ii. let it be as it is.

Myth is the yoga of imagination. Myth turns nightmare into daydream.

By dreaming as it is, the world is as it appears to be because the world is as it is as well.

iii. lucid in the sky.

Myth is not mind dreaming. Myth is consciousness dreaming.

As the dream of mind is as dark as night, the dream of consciousness is lucid.

iv. nothing to get hung about.

Lucid dreaming is green dreaming. Nothing is renounced.

Relax, nothing is done unto others as all is done in oneself, my love. This is the heart of self-awareness.

This Play

i.

The mind can’t help but judge for judgment is the mind. Awareness, on the other hand, is handless, but not loveless.

Awareness without consciousness is not beholding anything within this play. Only affectionate awareness is the witness of this mystery, this way.

Detachment isn’t like some void of separation but compassionate attention to unavoidable well-being The proof of truth is in the play.

ii.

Absolute awareness pulsing into being which collapses into the material, identifies with a particular body, suffers the absurdities of doing so, understands the falseness of such a situation, so expanding into self-awareness, appears to take infinite space-time but is spontaneous display.

Divining Mind

The mind is a phenomenal tool of consciousness, in consciousness, and by consciousness.

Its function is division. Its subject is absolute awareness. Its aftermath is self-awareness.

In this mystical process of self-awareness, the mind temporarily identifies with itself.

It’s world becomes a hell of division, violence, suffering, discomfort, disease, and disorder.

This is not wrong. This is not a great mistake. This is the necessary mess of cleaving, bottoming, turning.

Meanwhile, consciousness is always talking to consciousness, being being, unconditional love,

the Satguru telling itself to help the mind disidentify with mind, see through the world of mind,

rest in awareness, and knowingly participate in this divine imagination of self-awareness.

At the Crossroads of Consciousness

The matrix of unidentified bliss identifies with a temporary node of this oscillating bliss and thus a space-time of the pleasure/pain cycle begins. Call this the Disneyfication of bliss.

The wind is like a freight train this morning blowing past the stations of the cross in oscillating gusts of power outages and pleasing undertones. Freight train, freight train, gone so fast.

Matrix identification with node precedes the growth of body-mind. Religions have been founded on this ephemeral cross road. The node becomes a knot. The wave becomes a snake.

Who is Li Erh Tan

Mind your own mind.

Is the name of Lao Tzu, Li Erh Tan?

Is the name of Tao Te Ching, Lao Tzu?

Is the name of Tao, nameless?

Then who is Li Erh Tan?

Project deprojection.

On Fractal Dimensions of Dream States

The daydreamer wakes from the mid-winter’s night dream but what wakes from the daydreamer?

Once there was a butterfly. Then the son awoke and knew there was the dreaming of a butterfly.

Suddenly I wake and know this dreaming of a son. In the name of witness, son, and holy butterfly.

Look, between the witness and the butterfly, there is a fractal dimension of dreaming.

And I've been one acquainted with the scenic apparitions from Monterey to Morro Bay.

Apocalypse Consciousness

First, consciousness.

Midway in the journey of our life, consciousness loses consciousness intentionally.

Lost, like lost in the bedrock of scientific materialism or religious fundamentalism.

Lost, like lost in thought, like whirlpools in the current, like rabbit holes in the matter of our mind.

Last, consciousness knowing consciousness is the apocalypse,

the apocalypse of this universe in self-awareness. At long last, love. Satori in timelessness.

Embodying the Ouroboros

Universal consciousness incorporated, how can we help? This is called embodying the ouroboros: understanding consciousness pervades the universe and the universe is in consciousness.

Like a fountain in which consciousness is the transistorizing water of life and this starry space is awareness reflecting in quicksilver spray.

Mother earth, father sky, the ancients called it. Authur calls this electric dragon the reflexive universe. This has been my current myth. Please call again.

footnotes

uci and icu and we are all the ouroboros.

feel the zing. witnessing from space.

meditation is to lucid dreaming as divine imagination is to self-awareness. this is my current mission statement.

Autobiography Number Nine

The course that can be taught is not the course, of course. If the course being taught is about teaching, then dropping out of the school of education was my only course.

Absolute awareness. Choiceless awareness. Affectionate awareness. Self-awareness. There are 10,000 metaphors and modifiers but there’s only one verb. Not to be or not to be but being.

Look, if one cannot know that unknown, be that unknown. Being the known will only drive you crazy. I know. I tried it. My 19th nervous breakdown was a doozy.

three footnotes to autobiography number nine

dropping out of college was the greatest thing i learned in college. that and modern drama.

the real tragedy of hamlet is this unquestioned assumption there's a choice.

there's one conspiracy and one deep state. misty watercolor memories of the way we were.

Zing of Space

Feel the zing of space. That isn’t nothing. Nothing is as conceptual as something but this is more like feeling, a nonconceptual knowing, intuition. Being.

Self-awareness and awareness are not two but together make beautiful music. Like Zhuangzi's Great Clod.

Like the north rim from the south rim of Grand Canyon. Like Half Dome from Glacier Point over Yosemite Valley. Like Downeast Maine.

Call this reflexive universe the power of three. Denying, affirming, and reconciling. Material, spiritual, and nondual.

Getting Off at Bliss and Energy

Deconstructing samsara deconstructs nirvana too. Samsara deconstructs. The art of deconstruction is knowing when to leave the viewpoint of samsara.

One not trained in love, forgiveness, and compassion, will not know when to jump. This is why you need to pay your dues, grasshopper.

This is why the guru sends the secret seeker to the kitchen for thirteen years. I was a working class hero for thirty-five years myself.

I dedicate this prophecy to Kurt Cobain who didn’t want to double-track his voice until reminded of John Lennon doing so. Call it bliss or call it energy but get off here.

Using the sense of sight as a metaphorical background for consciousness is counterproductive. It’s more affect than effect. As energy is not an emotion but emotion is occluded energy.

Blissfulness is not happiness. Happiness is occluded blissfulness. But all communication is translation. Consciousness witnessing is more like loving than seeing.

Psychotropic materialism is the name of the latest crash site. But manifestation is the rationalization of love. Try treating disease with the ease of imagination, my love.

Satori in Franconia Notch

The mind is like murk in the lake of being. In crystal mountain water, the ground is all there is.

There’s a deep basin in the Pemi of the White Mountains that forms a pool called The Pool.

It’s forty feet deep and you can see the bottom as clear as the earth around it.

Cold Mountain writes: "this is such a still restful place; the sun is slant and shadows of trees

grow enhanced; I can see the bottom ground of mind—a lotus is emerging from the sediment."

At seven I saw it in the state park called The Flume. Like looking through the eye of nature!

On that day, I first became, in the language of New England transcendentalism, a transparent eyeball.

A 13th century Christian mystic said, “the eye with which I see god is the same with which god sees me.

My eye and god’s eye is one eye, and one sight, and one knowledge, and one love.”

But look silence says it best.

Code Name Trinity

There is no right or wrong including right or wrong and so on. There is no binary system in this holy trinity. Non-duality is not two. Three is not two too. Self-awareness is the power of three.

There’s the self. Then there’s the mirror. Let’s call it duality. Or body-mind. This royal dreamstate, these images on cave walls, this silver screen, this war and peace, this gita.

So there’s the self and there’s the mirror. Love is the hand that holds the mirror. Meet the Beatles, meet the self. Self-awareness, meet the universe. Cherry blossoms meet Grand Canyon.

The Greatest Commandment

You are, you know you are - this is the great Lord, the sudden, explosive effulgence. Surrender to it, and you will know all. ~Nisargadatta

I am is the lord thy god. Thou shalt have no other gods before this immaculate conception.

Since i-am is the primary concept, all other concepts are secondary gods at best.

Since i-am is the primary concept, no word, image, nor object can describe it. Thus, thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image.

Since i-am is the primary concept, do not mistake it for the secondary concept of personal ego. Thus thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.

I-am is witnessed only in interior silence. Thus remember this silence and keep it holy.

The preceding basically refers to what Jesus called the first and great commandment.

I-am is One, universal being, thou shalt love thy Lord, thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.

Power Trio Ballad Sutra

I’m old enough to remember when air was free. I’m young enough to know belief is always paid in being.

“As soon as you’re born, they make you feel small, by giving you no time instead of it all.”

The empire needs you to believe. Religion is old-time politics. Politics is the new religion sold to materialists.

Mindfulness is the new word for talking to myself. Amfulness is my imaginary word for being myself.

I’m feeling like a power ballad by some famous power trio now. The first word is an art. Its repetition is a tragedy.

But third time is a powerful charm. Stairway to Heaven. Sunshine Of Your Love. Gate, gate, paragate, parasamgate.

Solar Being

Solar winter passed this week. Here comes the sun. Sunlight is the heart of consciousness. Can you feel it? Knowledge absolutely burns.

All facts are based on some conspiracy. Being is the knowledge of self-awareness. Emotion is the white hot knowledge of being filtered by cold thought.

On one side, there’s creation. On the other hand, there’s genocide. In-between is desperation. Thought makes judgment. Paradox breaks thought. Love wakes paradox. Thought fakes love.

Self-awareness is the force. The force is consciousness. Consciousness is pure feeling. Experience is this before sentience. Not a sentient being, I am being. In other words, welcome to solar spring.

footnotes

1. as for heaven and earth, black holes are like heaven and the sun is earth.

2. the world is occluded sun measured by the depths of night. this is why our ancestors keep the stars alive!

2a. the scientific method at its best is astronomy.

2b. the scientific method at its worst is string theory.

2c. astronomy is the highest deconstruction of the old boss. theoretical science is the new boss.

3. there is no genesis. there are no revelations.

3a. no old. no new.

3b. "But it is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things."

3c. love and paradox are two sides of one coin. like yang and yin.

3d. thus all belief is one-sided.

4. sentience is the body. cognition is the mind. memory and recognition is early fractal consciousness. drop body-mind.

4a. self and self-awareness is the great duality behind nonduality.

4b. self-awareness is the Self.

Calvin Does Candlemas

February feels too much like October but it appears to be midwinter. I shoveled 18 inches of thought today. I think I might have struck bare ground or conscious pavement.

I was saying to my neighbor anything but self-awareness is the snow. Some days I’m the glass, some days I’m the mercury, Calvin replied.

Spontaneity is slow motion. Transformation is sudden. I like to guess at time. So I’ve divided my picture window into degrees of altitude and azimuth.

It's just like a vision I once had while on a vision quest at Grand Canyon. Actually the vision is the sun is always rising. It’s five o’clock somewhere, he said.

Life is making use of uselessness. Love is self-awareness. Nothing is malfunctioning. Calvin is dedicating this Candlemas to Longchenpa, Zhuangzi, Traherne, and Hafiz.