Wednesday, April 18, 2018

First Epistle to Pleasant Valley. Spring 2018.


As if the dream state is an evolutionary stage in absolute self-awareness and not some great mistake.

If consciousness is primarily conceptual, and the only known is consciousness, then to know the great unknown is

obviously conceptual. Thus imagination isn't wrong but the myth imagined may be wrongful.


I see the first forsythia, spaced-out yellow flowers projecting the inside knowledge of the sun. Lucid dreaming is embodying the universal.

I hear an oriole the other day but call it the golden-throated. It's song is loud and crystal-clear. Obviously one being.

And then there is the early crocus appearing purple in a patch of green. For self-awareness is an evolutionary metamorphosis


my magical reality. Something happens out of nowhere like a wild imagination.

Oh my secondary characters, my beautiful projections, listen to my story of awareness being self-aware, now playing.

As every eastern poem loves to end in cherry blossoms, body calls for food, and mind, myth. Who holds the flowering imagination?

Saturday, April 14, 2018

ps1 footnotes (after consciousness, the deluge)

Pure awareness is reflected in this consciousness. Postneoadvaita koan—in binary terms, the manifest is three.

Cynthia forsythia on the roadside with the sun! Empires fall. Knowledge rises like a phoenix.

Tripping on deoxyribonucleic acid over the square root of metaparadigm. In middle America, it’s either Emily or the white whale.

Evolution depends on my suspension of belief. Dreaming is the background music for this consciousness.

Dreaming that enlightenment is in the mind is what enlightenment is. This is the latest science. Don’t overthink it. This is penultimate.

In the name of the revelation of divine imagination in the manifestation of self-awarenesss. Inheal, exheal.

Postneoadvaita Sonnet 1

Material reflects. Being projects.
Choose one or three but not two.
The moon allows the wolves to howl until they get the point.
Black is the new wisdom. White is the new love.
The world is DNA divided by conditioning.
Go figure. It’s either ten thousand somethings or one big nothing.
Everything is as it is, no matter what I may believe.
My lucid dream is what I love but minus all belief.
Being is true knowledge, the immaculate conception.
Consciousness is intentional transformation. Do the math.
Her sweet transmission is to love as her almighty engine is to words.
What if this were line twelve of a spontaneously self-aware sonnet?
That there is no thirteenth floor is just the way of magical reality.
Dreaming is the time for love and disbelieving is the space.

Friday, April 13, 2018

footnotes to 2009

remember correctly baizhang!

every closing moment of this deconstruction is like the opening of silence.

as the mind deconstructs itself, there is being. and only being is known by the great unknown.

this is basic magic. one must know oneself as the only known before the great unknown shall know oneself.

Thursday, April 12, 2018

Like 2009

No cat jumping, no cradle on the edge. Leave those action verbs behind. Better to be dropping, seeing through, unknowing. At best, being.

For example, Dogen doesn't say, as to body-mind, vault into the void, but merely, drop.

The former is disassociation and the latter, surrender. The former is a mental state and the latter, being.

The former is doing and the latter, non-doing. Woo-woo or Wu Wei. Thorn in, thorns out.

Nothing. Everything. Nothing. Everything. Nothing. Everything. My so-called life.

Footnote form. Endnote emptiness. Sitting on the dock of the Tao. It takes a thought to see through a thought.

This seeing through is called the game of thorns. Sidebar being. Is the immaculate conception.

Ride the tiger like an ensō, sweetheart. Consciousness is all about the quantum uncertainty.

Sitting in the heart of the Tao, watching the tide roll in and roll away, this koan is pointing to the moon.

Monday, April 9, 2018

Three Footnotes to The Autobiography

One footnote. I think it's significant that Nisargadatta says the mystical is most practical and not vice versa.

Second footnote. I first saw her on the night of the Nixon resignation party as she floated across the room while Van Morrison is singing Jackie Wilson Said I'm in heaven when you smile over the stereo. Look, I am not responsible for fate.

Footnote three. Third outbreak after California 1991 and I'm advised to take the harder stuff. For the next fifteen years or so I'm a mountain hiking fool.

Sunday, April 8, 2018

The Autobiography of Me, Joni, and Henry

Disassociation is just a common symptom of duality. The second disassociation outbreak experienced here occurred in 1984 no lie.

Many personal issues concerning wife and work and child would be discussed but there was kind of a spiritual one which was foundational.

I just spent five minutes trying to remember the exact word I used thirty-four years ago: IMPRACTICAL.

We were talking about the things I liked ten years earlier, or more to the story’s point, before I met the woman I would have my child with.

Ah 1974 the year Joni Mitchell released 'Court and Spark' on New Years Day no less.

"Help me I think I'm falling In love too fast It's got me hoping for the future And worrying about the past

'Cause I've seen some hot hot blazes Come down to smoke and ash We love our lovin' But not like we love our freedom"

Writing poetry of course. Walt Whitman. Then there was my Russian period after reading Crime & Punishment.

I did all of Vonnegut after reading ‘Cat's Cradle” and gave my cousins copies for Christmas.

Then I told the shrink I even had a crush on Henry David Thoreau because impractical.

So why did I feel Thoreau was so impractical became a recurring theme over the next several weeks until I went to revisit Walden

every lunch by leaving work and driving to a lake at Harold Foster State Park and climbing up a hill with chair and nothing to eat but my book.

Henry would still be my guru if I hadn't spent an entire year reading his journals day by day

and editing a passage for a daily blog post from 2004 to 2005. Go and visit your hero for a week, never mind an ever-loving year.

"the mystical is most practical" ~Nisargadatta

Saturday, April 7, 2018

Peak Bloom

As the mind is division, there's this and that, dependent origination. The that which sees through the this of this and that is Tao.

Revelation is right imagination. Self-awareness is the name of Buddha and the wish fulfilled.

Imagination without love is thinking. Imagining with love is revelation. Psychology is of the world and therefore doesn't know

the most important aspect of a dream is seeing one is dreaming. Consider the cherry blossoms of Washington DC.


"The more earnest you are at remembering what needs to be remembered, the sooner will you be aware of yourself as you are, for memory will become experience. Earnestness reveals being. What is imagined and willed becomes actuality—here lies the danger as well as the way out." ~N

Wednesday, April 4, 2018

Middle Samadhi. The Ninth.

You are pure awareness being self-aware. After thirteen billion years of evolution and this universe of space, you're almost there.

But here lies Zeno's Paradox. Imagine that!

As inspiration is the great surrender of the material, lucid dreaming is the revelation of all the prophets.

Science can lead you to the water, but it can't help you cross it.

Imagine there's no paradox. There's no doing otherwise. Look, this is direct koan.

Note one: a dream without love is like evolution without creation.

Note two: a dream not following Intent is like desire not following love

is like a piece of driftwood not drifting in the current is like a surfer with no perfect wave.

Note three: as this is essentially a tantric practice, compassion is the safe word.


Sunday, April 1, 2018

Thirteen Revelations on Easter Sunday

Lights, camera, action, ego, deconstruction, lucid dreaming, no name for Tao. Genesis in pure awareness, apocalypse of self-awareness. Ginger root, willow bark, elderflower.

There are thirteen blackbirds but the mind only sees seven colors at a time. Inspiration takes you to an even dozen. Revelation says I make my own thirteen. The magic of one is not opposed to an absolute zero but it likes to play with nothing.

Self-awareness is the DNA of Tao. Understanding pure awareness as a concept is not the same as self-awareness. You will recognize them by their fruits. Live your myth and a world will appear to live it in.

Saturday, March 31, 2018

Being Observing

Belief attracts a similar belief and so on, to form a simulated world to believe in.

It is the nature of believers in a simulated world to believe their world is the only real world—

thus the left believes the right is wrong and the right believes the right is right.

All belief is based upon the knowledge of a simulated world, but the only true knowledge is being—

and even being isn’t absolute.

I am divided into observer and observed, one and zero, right and wrong, peace and war—

yet there’s only this observing. Does the observer intuitively know it’s actually false,

and thus bolsters itself with other observers in a truce of collective observers observing, or believing?

So the observer-believing is the so-called known substitute—for being-observing the unknown?

Thursday, March 29, 2018

#tbt Last Man Out of Parker Wildlife Refuge 1984

They say the island hermit is just afraid
to be outgoing, still living there, some nerve,
upon a ragged sandbar, domain of deer
and waterfowl, a government preserve.
He'd rather live alone, like a renegade.
But Lew, if asked, would gladly volunteer
a different point of view, remembering when
the island was a neighborhood, a place
for names and faces, not a forsaken den
for migratory birds, or solitaire.
The lilac bushes are all that fill the space
familiar with that far-off yesterday.
It's not that Lew has left the human race.
It's just that everyone has moved away.

2002

Sunday, March 18, 2018

footnotes to autobiography ii

1. What do you call it when you're pro-life and pro-choice? I am that.

2. My culture has no rite of passage but for parenthood—and parenthood scares the bejesus into children—so that was my passage.

3. The golden rule—spread your leaves but remember your roots.

4. My great grandfather calls it breathing fire.

5. Believing there are others is the god of all conditioning. The knowledge that I am is in the knowing I'm unknown. Evolution is mutation but compassion is remembering my story. It takes the Tao to name it but there are no words for Tao.

Saturday, March 17, 2018

The Ballad of My Autobiography II Blues

Believing there are others is the god of all conditioning.
The void of pure awareness, being consciousness
and the mirror of the mind
in the name of the parent, child, and spiritual projection.
All poetry is translating revelation into words—
the trick is knowing when and where to leave the silence be.

I like my body like I like my car—
blood red, efficient, and it's got a moon roof.
The knowledge that I am is in the knowing I'm unknown.
Awareness being self-aware. Like a mother and child reunion.
My number one daughter doesn't mean the world to me.
She's not of the world; she is love.

My mother would have been one-hundred in eight days.
See, she's always in my dream—self-awareness
is spontaneous and so it feels like
what I’ve always known—
evolution is mutation
but compassion is remembering my story.

There's a golden thread
that ties my childhood
to my parenthood
to now—it's not
completely nameless.
It takes the Tao to name it.



Thursday, March 15, 2018

My Autobiography I

Beware of science in sheep's clothing. Koan is a subset of myth, sometimes called the anti-story. Dreams are light years and deep space beyond the world.

The primary interpretation of one's dreaming every night is to awaken to the little lower actuality that one is dreaming there's a day. So simply said, the world appears to be a paradox because it's actually a dream.

After deconstructing day, the universe turns lucid. Shakespeare writes a play. Basho pens haiku. Cold Mountain.* Old folks move to Florida to live with alligators. Old souls stay in Maine.

Theology is the language of all old religions. Science is the language of the new religion. Myth is still the spoken silence of the known unknown. Love is the heart, and imagination the matter, of lucidity.

Parenting is a practice. First comes unconditional love. Then comes seeing through new conditioning to that unconditional love. And now I’m like grandfather sun enjoying what the moon is doing to the earth.

Profound revelation: Gurdjieff's infamous image of the moon feeding on the earth is not so much horrific as sacrificial. Like mother and child. In other words, change your point of view! A koan.

But not a horror story. The classic fairy tale. Original nirvana. Pure awareness is projection. Projection is pure awareness. Between awareness and projection is this dream.



* A Cold Mountain Transcreation

When someone sees Cold Mountain
all declare he’s wild and crazy—
his face isn’t much to look at,
his body is wrapped in rags and fur,
they don’t understand his words
and he doesn’t speak their words.
His reply to all these passersby:
come and gaze on Cold Mountain.

Tuesday, March 13, 2018

A Myth to Live By

In duality, there's two beliefs: one and the other. Right and wrong is one belief and wrong and right, the other.

No belief is right or wrong but thought is caught in worshipping itself. And all devotion is beyond belief or judgment.

Devotion to devotion is direct path. Thought worshiping devotion, or love of being,

is the myth that deconstructs the old belief, so chopping wood can truly be just chopping wood.

There's a reason why Zen is Zen Buddhism. No matter how absolute or zenlike it is, every devotion loves a myth to live by.

Monday, March 12, 2018

Myth of Mind

The mind is a precious ring
forged in evolutionary
fires of fourteen billion years
with a singular intent:
The Apocalypse of Self-awareness.

But thought becomes enamored of itself
in shadow worships called belief,
abandoning its unborn birthright
for its greatest concept and conjecture:
death!

Yet in secret places,
well knowing it is lost,
thought worships being
instead of thought,
creating myths of Krishna,
Christ and Consciousness,
returning to this That I am—
pure awareness being self-aware.

Saturday, March 10, 2018

footnotes to illuminating myth

1. although it preaches proof and experience, western scientific materialism is all about theories and assumptions.

2. being is the only known but the unknown is absolute.

3. intuition is to space-time as process is to spirit and intent.

4. neither naturalism, eternalism, existentialism nor nihilism, but spontaneous, open, unified, and absent. footnote: baizhang via ferguson. longchenpa via dowman.

5. the simple act of turning on a light is in itself a story of the gods and the lighting of a candle.

Illuminating Myth

To believe my myth is sacrilege. To envision it is sacred art. A myth believed is like religion; a myth assumed is like a paradigm.

But a myth illuminated is like lucid dreaming or the way of self-awareness, that is—being the unknown.

The mind is reading tea leaves. Energy and evolution. The power of three and seven. Pure awareness is spontaneously self-aware.

Yes, no mind is no belief, but no, no myth is not no view on views. Being natural, eternal, dreamlike, and empty is not a divided view.

Do red-winged blackbirds in bare trees bring back the spring or do falling leaves? Myth is mindfulness.

Wednesday, March 7, 2018

Being Myth and Not Belief

Unlike the mind, awareness is not passive. For the way of awareness is intending self-awareness.

But the mind just sits there like a razor's edge dividing all that passes through it.

Don't get me wrong, the mind will get unstuck. The mind is nothing but that long slow turn in awareness being self-aware.

It's like that point between sutra and tantra, history and myth, karmic conditioning and unconditional imagination.

Like a stuck mind is a believing mind, but a mind becoming unstuck is a mind in disbelief. No-mind is not no-thought but only no-belief.

For before belief was thought and after belief is imagination. As politics is the world of samsara and Jesus is the dream of nirvana,

love is the common language.

A Few Words from Zhuangzi (Chuang Tzu) Ch-2a

How can the Way be so concealed there’s any question of factual and fake? How can words be so unintelligible there’s any question of right and wrong?

How can the Way be somewhere else and not be here? How can words endure and not be genuine?

The Way is simply hidden in sudden insight and words are merely lost in wordplay. Thus there is debate between the Left and Right about what's right and wrong.

Each denies the other’s affirmations and affirms the other’s deep denials. But to right such wrongs and wrong such rights, nothing compares to seeing through it all with clarity, lucidity, illumination.


Look, there’s nothing that isn’t an object and there’s no one that isn’t the subject. But one never knows anyone from the point of view of that object.

One only knows everything from the point of view of this subject. Therefore I say that depends upon this, and this depends upon that.

In other words, subject and object give birth to each other. And birth leads to death and death leads to birth. Each affirmation is a refutation of something else, and vice versa.

So where there’s right for someone, there’s wrong for someone else, and vice versa. Thus, the wise one never takes a side but sees all in the light of Heaven.


Sure, she knows her this, but she also knows her this is that from another point of view, and thus her that is also this. Therefore, she knows that contains both right and wrong; and this contains both right and wrong.

So is there really any this and that or right and wrong? Or is there not a this and that at all?

The state in which both this and that are no longer known as opposites is called the Heart of the Way. And from the stillness of such a pivot point, all movement and opposition is seen in their immeasurable transformations.

Therefore, right is boundless and wrong is boundless. Again, nothing compares to clarity, lucidity, illumination.


~Zhuangzi (tr-Son Rivers)

Sunday, March 4, 2018

Notes from the Acid Queen


The good, the bad, and how the west began

—spontaneity, synchronicity, and serendipity: two tales of one coin—

in all the ancient arts of deconstruction, the actual turn is always understanding projection.

Yesterday’s unknown prophet is tomorrow’s white whale. All’s well.

Seeing belief is to imagination as two is to three in the morning is the meeting place of revelation and myth.

Saturday, March 3, 2018

The Rule of Julian

You say meditation. I say being. Let's call the whole thing off. Memory is a whirlpool. Identity is a whirlpool. Fear and loathing is a whirlpool. And as the world turns, there's only a river.

The river is the way that washes out the road. Full moon, high tide, storm surge. Solid yellow lines are disappearing in reflections of a silver sky. Being is the only knowledge and the only knowledge is knowing that one is unknown.

Meanwhile there's division, separation, fear, security, trespassing, and war. "Al shal be wel, and al shal be wel, and al manner of thyng shal be wele." See through thought and be. There are 10000 waves of light in the absolute sun of self-awareness.

Friday, March 2, 2018

The Deoxyribonucleic Acid Queen

As if the judge is separate from the judged. As if the personal isn't worldly. Welcome to Samsara! Population one. I was raised on good and bad.

It's always three before the dawn. All conditioning is unique in its similitude. Let conditioning be conditioning are two ways of deconstruction. Monkey si. Monkey dos.

All normal speech is conditioning talking. But non-conditional speech is filtered through love and understanding: third word, best word. And inspired speech is silence talking to myself. Revelation is silence talking.

There are three true poets: the love poets, William Blake, satsang. There are no other words. All knowledge leads to being unknowable.

All roads lead to Nome, the call of the wild, the DNA of DNA being the absolute intent of self-awareness.

Tuesday, February 27, 2018

Seeing Through All Thought

Thought is best at chopping wood and carrying water, but reality, not so much. Accordingly, psychology is not so much a myth as monster. The only beauty is the goddess of being.

Fundamentalist religion is the old gate. Scientific materialism is the new gate. Politics is all about who gets to boss the latest gate. There is only one diagnostic disorder: the personal. Its statistics are all casualties of war, both great and small. Using thought to see through all denominations and departments, deconstruction ends in being.

Basically, imagination is thought worshiping Being; belief is thought worshiping Thought. Thus, both science and religion are beliefs. There is no difference between theories and theology. As myth falls to god, the science of deconstruction sinks to scientific materialism.

After the mist dissipates and all the dust settles, I am. It's not so much the stopping of thought as just not worshiping it, either as an idol or theory. This is called seeing through all thought. If a frog jumps in a pond, is it haiku?

Sunday, February 25, 2018

The Final Turn

Self-awareness is natural selection. Experience is a most addictive drug. Imagination is lucid dreaming. Or evolution at the speed of light. Self-awareness is a divine dream. I can't believe I get to play this part!
It's the role of a lifetime. I literally live in Pleasant Valley. I can't really complain.

‘The valley spirit never dies—
call it the feminine
mystery.

Its gate is the root of the cosmos.’

The hinge of Tao. Being. Gateless gate of self-awareness. Soundtrack. Do You Know The Way To San Jose. Dionne Warwick. Self-awareness is the only life. All else is dreamtime. Imagination. God speaks to humanity after more than two thousand years of silence: you had one job to do. This is science and myth! Tao and Darwin.

The known knowing the known is how the unknown knows the unknown. Soundtrack. Tomorrow Never Knows. The Beatles. Mistaking the facts for knowing is samsara. The Marx Brothers and the hall of mirrors. Are we animals knowing death or being knowing Tao? Am I Christian or am I Christ? Kill the Buddha, Abraham!

The world is getting lost in the final turn of self-awareness. All is well. Soundtrack. House at Pooh Corner. Loggins & Messina. Old songs are memories of forgotten self-awareness. B.C. Before conditioning. Self-awareness is not a thought to be remembered as much as unawareness is a thought to be forgotten.

Proust. Basho. Or was Basho a government ninja spy? After hydrogen comes the deluge. From hydrogen to the H-Bomb chant the beatniks like Albert Einstein. Soundtrack. Christian Life. The Byrds. I like the nondual life. The law of three. Pure awareness. Unawareness. Self-awareness.

In between the law of three are two polarities with four directions: the big bang and the dark ages; the eyes open before awakening. Welcome to my myth. May I help you? Soundtrack. I Am the Walrus. The Beatles. There's a half moon glowing in the silver river fog through the shadows of high trees.

Friday, February 23, 2018

Epic Poem / Short Story

Variety is the spice of space-time. Transformation is to time as variety is to space. Even stainless steel will rust. Every color is a different shade of light.

In other words, everything is karma and projection. Karma is another way of saying transformation and projection is the naked city of seven billion dreams.

Some transformations are transcendent and burn themselves in memory all the way to DNA. One dream becomes the current lightning and the rest are reincarnated in the thunder of my dreamtime.

Use a fine line when writing stories. Use a medium if embolding consciousness as primal being. There is no point for self-awareness. That's basically the whole point.

The stink of skunk is
First smell of spring—just one sniff
And I'm everything

There's something about
Rock-bound mountains overlooking
An infinite sea

Here are the chapters to date. Variety in space. Transformation in time. Karma as transformation. Projecting a variety of dreams.

Transcendent DNA. Reincarnating dreamtime. Stories, consciousness, self-awareness. The smell of memory. The feeling of place.

The fact that nothing is truly known is the proof of that God, the great unknown.

The fact that all I empirically know is that I am, is proof I am that Great Unknown.

a small body cries!
and consciousness surrenders
and forgets itself


Wednesday, February 21, 2018

further footnotes


All personality is charades, I stay public because.
Because self-awareness,
Self-awareness says.
Irony is to nihilism what love is to nonduality.
Two is to zero what one is to not-two.
Self-awareness is always saying.
I love my daughter, there I said it!
As if the atmosphere of Venus is too bright for anything but love
(in memory of all survivors).
Taste is an acquired knowledge. But one loves what one loves.
Love is like chopping wood, carry water. 
What else could it be?
Love is knowing one. Poetry is being one. 
Deconstruction is unthinking two.


Footnotes to Love, Poetry, and Yes, Deconstruction


"Ahab has his humanities!"

Never misunderestimate.

In other words, everything but consciousness is ultimately unproven scientific theory. Like a myth, but unwise.

All sciences and other deconstructions, including the deconstructive science of psychology, if not accompanied by love and myth, are merely personal, and not of universal knowledge, like the law of three,

(whatever they say is bad for you is especially good in moderation)

in the name of Nisargadatta, Emily Dickinson, and Son Rivers.

Jung uncovers what Freud discovered but it isn’t exactly Basho. Or Romeo and Juliet.

Even hitting all the notes doesn’t make a song. That’s why there’s footnotes.

For every fifty ways to leave your lover, there are more than fifty ways of self-awareness. For every devolution, more than one belongs to evolutionary intent. My god this is Spirituality 101.

Love, Poetry, and Yes, Deconstruction

Stop thinking personally of a world and imagine universally in consciousness. It won't hurt. Between the personal and universal is social media. Ask the lemmings. Division is a concept that no thought can cure.

The cosmos is in consciousness, or is it not? Science likes to tell a different story, but it isn't really science because it doesn’t have a proof. The only proof of consciousness is consciousness. It truly is the only knowledge.

So psychology is to the personal as a daydream is to nightmare. Psychotherapy opened my eyes but it didn't wake me up. Love, poetry, and yes, deconstruction, are my holy trinity, trimurti, power of three!

Between love and deconstruction, my poetry flows. There's a feeling—in that first hot day of late winter—when the sap in this metaphor of a body begins to quickly flow again—

and consciousness is amplified into self-awareness—like a god remembering what a god intentionally forgets. For every red-winged blackbird, there’s a cherry blossom.

Monday, February 19, 2018

Reading the Directions

The shaman is the one imagining for all. Stop yelling at my projections! There's no one but my self. Jesus dyed himself white for you. Quoting a translation without acknowledging the translator is like mistaking a painting for a photograph. Or an Ansel Adams for my eyes. Be aware of Nopperabo or you'll end up with original face. Or waiting for Kitaro. Beyond the world is where the wild things are. Truth is never ugly no matter how much I believe it. The world is divided into two. There are these believing this and there are those believing that.

Belief is like imagination without love. Whether the door is closed or open is no matter to the hinge. Memory at its essence is just a smell. Oh the stories that we tell to understand a smell! To rhyme is why we learn to spell. If the known is called the universe, who is the unknown? For the absolute unknown has come to know the known so that the absolute unknown may know this that which is unknowable. Meanwhile the red-winged blackbirds are anticipating my annual discovery. Perennial discovery?

In bread we trust. In the universe, what is a nature poem? Horse piss and the theory of relativity. Blood is not birth. Shit is not death. After a hard day's night, I love myself some absolute deep sleep. Sally dreaming on the seashore. The brain is manifested for imagination but believes otherwise. Note to self. Thought is the high technology of universal imagination. Wanting love, it's the hell of ten thousand beliefs. Physician heal thyself. Spirit love thyself. As if imagination is love minus belief.

I don't believe in nothing but I do imagine myself. Imagine one's intent as if there is no space-time. In other words, everyone is who I love them to be. This is why the great tantric practitioners are emphasizing Love Like Jesus and Mary Magdalene (although the patriarchy believes in the Virgin Mary). When I was an actor, I believed like an actor. But when I became director, I put the ways of doing behind me and imagined my love. As if body-mind is an amplifier transforming pure awareness into self-awareness but believing it's distortion.

Thursday, February 15, 2018

footnotes to imagine being in nirvana

If the focus of one's attention is the world, then religion.

If the focus is oneself, self-awareness.

Imagine being in nirvana rather than believing in samsara.

Science is an ignorant myth.

Manifestation is only practice for imagination.

Imagination is the highest deconstruction because I am.

Imagine Being in Nirvana

one

Four hot takes. Samsara will be samsara. There's no complaint department. Projection is a bastard. Look within.

If the focus of one's attention is the world, then religion. If the focus is oneself, self-awareness.

One day in 2018 equals 2018 years in year one currency. From written word to internet is thirteen billion years but I don't feel a day over one.

Biblical time is psychological time so there's a lot of truth in it. But the penultimate lie is others. Their biggest lie is space-time.


two

Imagine being in nirvana rather than believing in samsara. Imagine being in nirvana rather than believing in samsara.

Imagine I am the Absolute being self-aware. Thought is the dawning of creation. Belief is the fog of war. Deconstruction is imagination.

Science is an ignorant myth. Scientific materialism is the last refuge of belief, although the next stage in evolution is imagination.

Manifestation is only practice for imagination. Dreaming is only the dress recital of imagination.


three

As pure awareness is the absolute unknown, imagination is self-awareness. All myth is imagination.

Science and religion are like the yin and yang of belief. On the other hand, science is the language needed for a perfect myth these days.

Law of three. Law of seven. Wave-particle duality. Reflexive evolution. Imagine three is the new two where seven is the four directions.

Imagine being on a mystery trip to there and back again in the name of self-awareness. Imagination is the highest deconstruction because I am.

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

cymbals


The Birth of Kitaro. Shigeru Mizuki.

There's something about reading manga from the back, and right to left, that invites right-brain intuition.

Maybe write with my left hand tonight?


Every word deserves its fifteen seconds. Every word ends in a life sentence. First word is only word.

“I too am not a bit tamed, I too am untranslatable. I sound my barbaric yawp over the roofs of the world.”

If first word is prophecy, is revised word rationalization? All translation is actually transcreation. Stephen Mitchell knows this. The Tao is my Tao. Projection. No words for Tao; words are for things, to quote myself.


There are words that are not words. Koan. Mantra. And in-between.

Like the right brain is left-handed. Onomatopoeia. The pivot, axle, hinge, fulcrum, hub, heart, turning point of Tao.

Imagination is a certain kind of deconstruction. Mindfulness of lucid dreaming is the turning of the third wheel. Neti neti. Gateless gate.


The natural Perfection of the Supreme source. Cognition is pure pleasure in this spontaneity. As the waves of fear are seen through, sea of joy!

The unborn, the wonder of birth, and the evolutionary revelation of divine imagination in the manifestation of self-awareness. Despite people thinking it's samsara, there is nothing wrong with nirvana. Sure, political words are lying words but words spontaneously imagined are like paradise!

Let love be my guide and wisdom my heart. Is truth dreaming beauty? Or is beauty dreaming truth? Absolute awareness. Absolute awareness intends to know oneself. Thirteen billion years of space-time. Being. Mindfulness. Imagination. Self-awareness.

Monday, February 12, 2018

Secret Footnotes to My New Age Reading

Don't throw out my being with your ego. Seeing the world in the light of wu-wei shortens division.

This with no name is the wildest card. Play it. See through the past. It's harmless.

A god named pure awareness is becoming self-aware. Welcome to my universe.

My New Age Reading

Ingratiation is not gratitude like sacrifice is not self-denial. Nothing is not synchronicity but sometimes it appears to happen faster.

Iconic yokai. Kasa obake. Discarded umbrella. Like a day dream left by the way side returns one night to paint my tarot in wu wei.

Not going against my self is not egoic action. You can't buy authenticity with a name. The butterfly isn't Taoist.

The dream is past—no need to harm it. Love is in the present—keep on opening it. Awareness is beyond all time so be it—self-awareness.

Saturday, February 10, 2018

*Not That There’s Anything Wrong With That

Conditioning is enforced imagination. Imagine something wrong and fix it. Revision: imagine all is wrong and fix it.

I say to you tonight there's nothing wrong and everything one thinks is wrong is only wrong because one thinks there's something wrong.

So first undo that stale imagination* and imagine now there's nothing wrong, and soon one knows there's nothing wrong.

O Corinthians, knowledge is partly stale and even every prophecy is partly stale, but when the great perfection is imagined, the partial disappears.

When I was a child asleep, I dreamt like a child asleep. But now that I'm awake, I put aside such childish conditioning and imagine as it is.

For while asleep one sees projections, but when awake one is self-aware. The material world is like ashes on sunshine. Feel it and it falls away.

When the screech owl flew into the picture window like the great big sea banging on the shore, did the walls come tumbling down?

Thursday, February 8, 2018

Talking Earthling


Dear Young One, subjective consciousness (the personal) equals universal consciousness (being vision speaking in the language of the dream-state) divided (filtered) by the mind.

Earthling, why are more than seven billion nodes of high potential self-awareness unaware of indivisibility within the universal matrix of absolute intent? Aren't your oceans deep enough?

One of one, they're deep enough but just not hot enough. So operation global warming is begun although they know not what they do. The absolute intent of pure awareness is awareness of awareness, naturally.


So self-awareness is the height of evolution, the crown of creation, myth of myths. For self-awareness starts with monkey do and ends with Doctor Wu. And being busy being busy is being never being being.

In the space-time dream state, space is just a place to own and time is something to be spent. So do no harm—there is no space nor celestial bodies. Always be being further—time is just a memory.

Thus space-time is just a thought. Being is the immaculate conception. Self-awareness is what it is. Like do your job. ‘What is the way to the abode of light?’ 'Have you reckoned the earth much?'



footnotes

"What is the way to the abode of light? And where does darkness reside? Can you take them to their places? Do you know the paths to their dwellings? Surely you know, for you were already born! You have lived so many years!" [Job 38:19-21 (NIV)]

"Have you reckoned a thousand acres much? Have you reckoned the earth much? Have you practiced so long to learn to read? Have you felt so proud to get at the meaning of poems? Stop this day and night with me and you shall possess the origin of all poems..." [SoM 2 ~WW]



Tuesday, February 6, 2018

Mummy Cave

So much division exponentially dividing nothing into smaller microcosms of oneself and others—

Jesus says there are no others; Buddha says there is no one; Zhuangzi says it's three in the morning.

There is no difference in their sayings: love, detachment, this and that. It's never what I think it is.

For I am dance! And love. Love is not relationship between oneself and another. And detachment doesn't mean a thing.

A black bear surprises in the night! An elephant is standing in the wings. Desolation power is waiting in the blue lagoon.

Here's the revelation of divine imagination in the manifestation of self-awarenessI am nothing, but nothing is.

So they say it isn't easy being nothing. This is why a newborn baby finds oneself always living in samsara.

And don't misunderstand my meaning of nothing. It's the scientific name for the absolute unknown.

One. Divine imagination is my self-awareness. This is why I am. I can't deny the undeniable.

Two. Never mind. It's really nothing. Three. A. Be. Seeing that a crystal stream is flowing

through the canyon of the dead is undeniable, it strikes me. Yes, I am. And nothing is not two.

Saturday, February 3, 2018

Transcreating Zhuangzi (Chuang Tzu) 2:1

On to Inner Chapter 2:

What does the Way rely upon that we have true and false? What do words rely upon, that we have right and wrong? How can the Way go away and not exist? How can words exist and not be acceptable? When the Way relies on little accomplishments and words rely on vain show, then we have the rights and wrongs of the Confucians and the Mo-ists. What one calls right the other calls wrong; what one calls wrong the other calls right. But if we want to right their wrongs and wrong their rights, then the best thing to use is clarity.

~BW


How has the Way become so obscured that there are true and false? How has speech become so obscured that there are right and wrong? Could it be that the Way has gone off and is nolonger present? Could it be that speech is present but has lost it sability to validate? The Way is obscured by partial achievements; speech is obscured by eloquent verbiage. Thus there are controversies between Confucians and Mohists over what's right and what's wrong. They invariably affirm what their opponents deny and deny what their opponents affirm. If one wishes to affirm what others deny and deny what others affirm, nothing is better than lucidity,

~VM


How could courses be so obscured that there could be any question of genuine or fake among them? How could words be so obscured that there could be any question of right or wrong among them? Where can you go without it being a course? What can you say without it being affirmable? Courses are obscured by the small accomplishments already formed and completed by them.9 Words are obscured by the ostentatious blossoms of reputation that come with them. Hence we have the rights and wrongs of the Confucians and Mohists, each affirming what the other negates and negating what the other affirms. But if you want to affirm what they negate and negate what they affirm, (2:15) nothing compares to the Illumination of the Obvious

~BZ


Tao is obscured when men understand only one of a pair of opposites, or concentrate only on a partial aspect of being. Then clear expression also becomes muddled by mere wordplay,
affirming this one aspect and denying all the rest. Hence the wrangling of Confucians and Mohists; each denies what the other affirms, and affirms what the other denies. What use is this struggle to set up "No" against "Yes," and "Yes" against "No"? Better to abandon this hopeless effort and seek true light!

~TM


How can the Way be so concealed there’s any question of factual and fake? How can words be so unintelligible there’s any question of right and wrong? How can the Way be somewhere else and not be here? How can words endure and not be genuine? The Way is hidden in little insights and words are lost in wordplay. Thus there is debate between the Left and Right about what's right and wrong. Each denies the other’s affirmations and affirms the other’s deep denials. But to right such wrongs and wrong such rights, nothing compares to seeing through it all with clarity, lucidity, illumination.

~Z (tr-SR)

A Few Words from Zhuangzi (Chuang Tzu) Ch-1

It is said the fundamental is without identity,
the spiritual is without value,
the wise is without a word.

So this big tree is just being there and you worry it’s useless.
Why not stand it in that allotment of naught
within this vast field of nowhere?

Here, you do nothing but wander at ease in its shade
while dreaming far and carefree within it.
Not a thought of an axe may cut it—

nor anything otherwise harm it.
And since it has no use,
no sorrow nor suffering shall befall it.


~transcreated by Son Rivers

Transcreating Zhuangzi (Chuang Tzu) 1:2

Here is Burton Watson’s translation of the end of Chapter 1, followed by four other translations of the final paragraph, and my own transcreation of that paragraph utilizing those five translations in total.


Hui Tzu said to Chuang Tzu, "I have a big tree of the kind men call shu. Its trunk is too gnarled and bumpy to apply a measuring line to, its branches too bent and twisty to match up to a compass or square. You could stand it by the road and no carpenter would look at it twice. Your words, too, are big and useless, and so everyone alike spurns them!"

Chuang Tzu said, "Maybe you've never seen a wildcat or a weasel. It crouches down and hides, watching for something to come along. It leaps and races east and west, not hesitating to go high or low-until it falls into the trap and dies in the net. Then again there's the yak, big as a cloud covering the sky. It certainly knows how to be big, though it doesn't know how to catch rats.

Now you have this big tree and you're distressed because it's useless. Why don't you plant it in Not-Even-Anything Village, or the field of Broad-and-Boundless, relax and do nothing by its side, or lie down for a free and easy sleep under it? Axes will never shorten its life, nothing can ever harm it. If there's no use for it, how can it come to grief or pain?"

~Z (tr-Burton Watson)

Now you, sir, have a big tree and are bothered by its uselessness. Why don't you plant it in Never-never Land with its wide, open spaces? There you can roam in nonaction by its side and sleep carefreely beneath it. Your StinkyQuassia's life will not be cut short by axes, nor will anything else harm it. Being useless, how could it ever come to grief

~Z (tr-Victor Mair)

So for your big tree. No use?
Then plant it in the wasteland
In emptiness.
Walk idly around,
Rest under its shadow;
No axe or bill prepares its end.
No one will ever cut it down.

Useless? You should worry!

~Z (tr-Thomas Merton)

You, on the other hand, have this big tree, and you worry that it’s useless. Why not plant it in our homeland of not-even-anything, the vast wilds of open nowhere? Then you could loaf and wander there, doing lots of nothing there at its side, and take yourself a nap, far-flung and unfettered, there beneath it. It will never be cut down by ax or saw. Nothing will harm it. Since it has nothing for which it can be used, what could entrap or afflict it?”

~Z (tr-Brook Ziproryn)

Now you've got this huge tree, and you agonize over how useless it is.  Why not plant it in a village where there's nothing at all, a land where emptiness stretches away forever?  Then you could be no one drifting lazily beside it, roam boundless and free as you doze in its shade. It won't die young from the axe. Nothing will harm it. If you have no use, you have no grief.

~Z (tr-David Hinton)


So this big tree is just being there and you worry it’s useless. Why not stand it in that allotment of naught within this vast field of nowhere? Here, you do nothing but wander at ease in its shade while dreaming far and carefree within it. No thought of an axe may cut it—nor anything otherwise harm it. And since it has no use, no sorrow nor suffering shall befall it.

~Zhuangzi (tr-Son Rivers)

Friday, February 2, 2018

Transcreating Zhuangzi (Chuang Tzu) 1:1

It is difficult to transcreate Zhuangzi because the stories are so intricate, but I’d like to try my hand at certain sentences of note. This is the first.


The first sections of the first inner chapter tell many stories of space and time but the tenth section ends with this sentence which is their summary of sorts (four translations follow):
"Therefore I say, the Perfect Man has no self; the Holy Man has no merit; the Sage has no fame."
~Z (tr-Burton Watson)"
"Therefore, it is said that the ultimate man has no self, the spiritual person has no accomplishment, and the sage has no name.”
~Z (tr-Victor Mair)
"Thus I say, the Consummate Person has no fixed identity, the Spirit Man has no particular merit, the Sage has no one name."
~Z (tr-Brook Ziporyn)
"Hence the saying: The realized remain selfless. The sacred remain meritless. The enlightened remain nameless."
~Z (tr-David Hinton) 

My transcreation is such:
Therefore it is said the fundamental is without identity, the spiritual is without value, the wise is without a word.
~Z (tr-Son Rivers)



Thursday, February 1, 2018

Talking Wu Wei

Surrender is not mandatory, but neither is pain, which is the Yang
to the Yin on the great axis of wu wei, which both polar qualities envelop.

It's neither surrender nor pain if it's non-doing. Wu wei is neither
nihilistic nor Sisyphean. Ahab loved his sailboat as a young man.

He felt as if the winds and currents were guiding him to where
he had to be, so Ahab could be Ahab, and thus to be a rudder—

not as to volitionally steer the boat (as if), but to find the better
way between the word and deep blue sea. Self-awareness.

But surrender sounds like giving something up instead of letting
go as Dogen, and his dropping body-mind, like wu wei.

The Sisyphean pain of overdoing—like making progress, continuous
improvement, and biggest and best—is not non-doing, nor wu-wei.

This wu wei isn't even wu wei.
And that wu wei is wei wu wei.

Wednesday, January 31, 2018

Talking Water

There’s a fountain in the middle of a lake so grand that most on shore believe the lake to be a surplus puddle formed from just the fountain's overspray.

In the university on the lake, a professor and a scientist agree that consciousness is just a product of the brain. Although the scientist has failed to prove it, the poor professor has abiding faith it shall be proven on some magic day.

There’s a fool who swims the length of the lake each day. To her, it doesn't matter if the lake is this or that because there's nothing else but water water everywhere and not a cause to think.

Sunday, January 28, 2018

Talking Butterflies

Singularity is not a theory. One is one, period. Anything other is one's projection only. One takes one stand in what one is. And one is my divine imagination, call it self-awareness. For I am that imagining I am, or really, absolute awareness.

Let me tell it like God's story. Within my most omnipotent self is naturally self-awareness. And this self-awareness is like a process to the seventh process of this story relative to self-awareness. Process is another word for mind. And self-awareness is a quality of pure awareness if the absolute contained an imperfection.

In other words, divine imagination isn't magic thinking, which is closer to the truth than western scientific rabbit holes in search of singularity in further subdivision, please excuse my other words, but more like Zhuangzi's Seven Inner Chapters.

There is a bird of paradise whose wings are clothed in diamond feathers like mirrors reflecting a sea of lightning far beyond the bang of thunder always crashing on this lovely land of waves and waves and waves.


Friday, January 26, 2018

Talking Frogs

Senses are to body as differentiation is to mind as attention is the amplification of awareness in the bodymind continuum. But awareness is to nothing other as pure awareness is to the big unknown. And attention is another name for being.

Being is the only pure knowledge. The now is the now is the now. And to know the now is to know myself is self-awareness. Like a frog is just an early sign of the omnipotent unknown.

So attention is embodiment of pure awareness as winter melting into spring-time voices. Inattention, on the other hand, is like a mid-summer night's dream. And autumn is like deconstructing every sense and differentiation.

I am saying this in winter but the sun is getting higher in the sky. And soon shall come the revelations of some very public frogs. The sound of water is this heavenly apocalyptic conscious knowledge of oneself. Ehyeh-Asher-Ehyeh.

Wednesday, January 24, 2018

Talking Nothing but Divine Imagination

Says I to I, there's only I. How public like my universe, how private like my heart? Says I to I in my response, this understanding is ineluctable. In going further, added I, I see we're through the gates of synchronicity, I further see. Enlightment is nothing other, I reply. As if there is a question when it comes to being and I laugh like some immense Shakespearian joke.

After deconstruction of conditioning, it takes some time before the air completely clears. And in such clarity, one finds I am the light and everything else is mere projection. And the revelator says that one returns to light to know the light is my intent to know myself.

The law of three requires this part three, although I need to work the math while talking this part three—the magnet of desire in such duality of me, returning to the stirring of I Am, and three is Self-awareness.

Written on this half moon of the blue moon, manifesting as a supermoon, I strike a chord myself the fool not looking at the finger soon becomes the moon, or is Intent no more than just the dreaming of a fool.

Western superstition or science, eastern herbs, divine imagination—what is the law of three in this dominion? Moreover, self-awareness is divine imagination.


Saturday, January 20, 2018

Talking Love

Anything but love is complex. Yes, love is not complex but one may think it so.

It takes my daughter's birth for me to know that love is far beyond a thought and is in fact completely unbelievable.

In other words, love is what I am, she is, and being that a person is a thought believed, and so conditioned to forget what one is truly,

love is just a thought until I see it isn't. And such is therapy condensed—understanding love is not a thought and I am not a person.

Bhakti and Jnani is the one true science. Blue moon, a crescent moon is setting in my picture window

visible in spaces where no branch is pitch as night. And so I see the sky is clear tonight, my love.

Imagine Miming Shakespeare

This so-called reality
is just an idea
electro-magnetizing
consciousness—
the wheel kills the ground.
Imagine miming Shakespeare.
Time is just the concept
of a god believed—
premonitions, revelations,
and synchronicities are
Shiva's deconstructions.

Friday, January 19, 2018

In the Paradox of Self-Inquiry

Maybe the mind is a tool
dividing
the holistic ground
into a violence of questions,

resulting in some Zhuangzi identities
of this or that belief—
consciousness is the unquestionably holistic
breaking the tool

in the paradox of self-inquiry.

There is nothing wrong with the sun
or anything beneath it.
It's just pure awareness being self-aware,
Jacob.

As the process and its work procedures
are not the finished product—
so my reflection is not
the mirror nor its manufacturing.

Thursday, January 18, 2018

Talking Appearances

The following quote appears to be Seung Sahn's translation of a passage from the Diamond Sutra further translated by Stephen Mitchell. But Mitchell is notoriously loose in his translation of the Tao, and this appears to be very loose as well, confusing the Diamond Sutra take on impermanence to be nihilistic. It's not. “All appearance is delusion. If you view all appearance as non-appearance, then that view is your true nature.”

Rather view objects as appearances, or appearances as appearances.

Thich Nhat Hanh: “The Buddha is saying 'All dharmas are impermanent,' but he is not saying that they are not here. He only wants us to see the things in themselves. We may think that we have already grasped reality, but, in fact, we are only grasping its fleeting images. If we look deeply into things, we will be able to free ourselves from the illusion."

In other words, objects are appearances but appearances are not non-appearances.

Further, a person is an appearance. Universal consciousness is not a non-appearance.

As self-awareness is a reflection in pure awareness.